I woke up this morning at 5:45. I felt wide awake. Excited. My mind reviewed the dreams I had. One dream was about going to a club I used to go to–Maniac Love. In those days, I would get up at 4am to get ready to go dancing. I always had a feelings of excitement, urgency, eager anticipation. I felt compelled to do this–drawn to the dance floor like a magnet to metal.
There was no fear, no pondering whether what I was doing was right or wrong, no feeling of doubt, no hesitation. This morning, I can feel that intensity; that sense of purpose. Yes, that’s the word–PURPOSE. I had to get up and write this. The words pour out of my head. I put them to paper. I must express. This is what I live for. This is my purpose. On the dance floor, I express who I am through movement. When I write, my expression is in words. This is what gets me going in the morning. EXPRESSION.
I think when we find our gift, we experience and inexplicable urge to action– a doing with purpose and meaning. It is the feeling that a child has on Christmas morning, waiting with excitement and anticipation to open her gifts. And what a beautiful analogy that is–opening gifts. She can’t wait. She wants to do it now! This is the feeling I am talking about–Urgency–not in a fearful sense but feeling that something amazing is about to happen.
Do you remember a time in your life when you had this feeling? Bring it to your mind. Recall the details. Remember how your body felt. Your heart was beating fast. Your mind felt alert, clear and focused. Your eyes felt wide, wondering how things would unfold.
When I was getting ready to go dancing, I was completely focused on what I needed to do; nothing else mattered. Maybe I was kind of a maniac; a little insane. I mean, who gets up at 4am on Sunday to go dancing at a club? But was an amazing to be so driven and motivated. I remember a shirt I had that said–FUCKIN’ GO NUTS. And that’s pretty much describes me on the dance floor.
Aren’t we all just a little too sane and too calm in this world? Like the song by Seal–And we’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy. Or my all time favourite by Prince–Let’s Go Crazy! Those words have been my motto lately. Let’s Go Crazy!! Let’s do this! What are we waiting for?!!
There is no greatness in mediocracy or normalcy. Many great artists, scientists, inventors and other creative types have been known as being a little crazy or obsessed. Mental illness and creativity often go hand in hand — Vincent van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Pythagorus to name a few. Some researchers even claim that mental illness is the result of an over-functional brain. It’s possible that nature needs us to be a little crazy.
While I don’t want to make light of mental health disorders, I do think that many of us could let a bit more mania in. I mean like passion, eccentricity, weirdness, queerness and quirks. In other words, get your freak on!
We all have gifts to share with the world and we aren’t gonna find them by trying to be like everyone else. We need to find what makes us different and unique, what energizes us and gets us excited to get up in the morning. When we live with this kind of intensity and purpose, we feel alive. Not only do we feel more alive but we will find and open our gifts and this is how we best serve the world.
Many of us unknowingly turn down our own intensity level to protect ourselves from feeling hurt, disappointed, rejected or dejected. But sadly, when we turn down the intensity on these so-called bad emotions, we also lose the excitement, urgency, passion and purpose that drives us. When we shut down our hearts, life shrinks into safe routines, superficial conversations, unfulfilling work, dishonest and disconnected relationships.
To really be ourselves, fully, we must find our own unique path. It’s a road not taken. The way is uncertain. And you may just have to go a little crazy (or at least allow for others to see you that way). By allowing yourself to be, you will discover the rush of your divine nature flowing through you. Allowing, flowing, flowering… EMPOWERING your body and soul.
Wake up! Get excited. GO CRAZY!!