Last night, I dreamt that I was in a school. I was lost and couldn’t find my way back to where I was supposed to be. Then I was busy managing a large group of kids by myself. I was thirsty and tired and hadn’t had a break yet. Next, I was taking a course but I didn’t know where the class was or what I needed. I kept feeling that I was behind and a guy was watching me. I was going through these small tunnels and climbing rope ladders trying to get to join everyone. Finally, I was so frustrated and angry. I yelled, “I hate this place!!”
After waking up in a bit of a panic, I calmed down and followed my mind to see where it would lead me. I just let the thoughts come without trying to judge them or censor them. After some rumination, I came to one thought–SPACE! Some other connections came to my mind: 1. Recently at work, a girl kept asking me to read this book about superheroes. On Friday, I finally decided to put it away. 2. Today, I was planning to go to the movie, “Gravity” (a movie set in space). 3. As I got out a notebook to use for my writing, I saw that the page before the blank one I was about to use had some old writing on it. It said–SPACE (S-sexy and strong, P-positive and powerful, A-assertive and active, C-creative and confident, E-expressive and energetic. It was something I had come up with last year. 4. About a week ago, I had a dream where I felt the words–You are powerful!
I have the ability to FEEL, to sense things that are not visible. I have the ability to SEE the truth, as bright as a neon sign. These insights have been coming to me for about a year. These inspirations of truth come to me like a bolt of lightning out of the sky. My dreams are like the thunder, rumbling in my brain and then I begin to see the connections between my dream and my waking life and they fuse together to form this electric idea and….ZAP!! The insight is right there; no denying the truth it has for me. It simply IS. I often wake up from these jolts as if my batteries have just finished charging. I feel awake, energized, alert and alive–no doubts, no confusion and, for a few moments when all is completely crystal clear, no fear. And I keep getting the message that I need to share these truths with the world.
One of the main reasons I came back to Canada was to have more space. Tokyo had become to crowded and hectic for me. What was once fun and exciting became draining and exhausting. But one thing I always absolutely loved to do in Tokyo was go to an outdoor live dj event where I could have lots of space to dance freely; lots of space to move my body around however I wanted. At these times, I had the SPACE I needed to express myself. It was an almost indescribable feeling–wild, abandoned, uninhibited, free, playful, joyful, blissful, ecstatic expression. Creativity doesn’t live in crowded, tight places. Creativity, ideas, inspirations, and insights thrive in SPACE!
As an introvert, I’ve probably always needed more time and space for myself than the average extrovert. And now, I crave this time and space even more. I have realized through my work in education and child care that children need space and time for themselves, too. They need room to grow, too. Sure kids can adapt to most environments but they feel stress and frustration just as we do. They deserve quiet time and space just like any adult.
My soul, or essence, is my own inner child. It’s that part of me that is always there, deep inside. Lately, this inner child has been demanding space. Like a child, she instinctively knows exactly what she needs. She knows when she needs to eat more. She knows when she needs to speak her mind or express her feelings. She knows when a relationship issue needs to be discussed or when a work situation needs to be changed. She knows. And now that I have cleared space in my mind (and in my body), she can easily get a message through. All I have to do is ask and be open to receive.
Before going to sleep last night, I thought about being open to insights. As usual, I got a piece of the puzzle that I was looking for. Slowly, gradually, the pieces are falling in to place and the bigger picture is becoming more and more apparent. I know that I’m on the right track and I know that I just have to keep listening for my truth. I feel, I listen, I see, I express.
Perhaps someone will argue that this is all non-sense or that my mind is just making up stuff and creating connections so I can feel that my life has meaning. I will not try to convince anyone that what I am experiencing is real because it is very REAL for ME. I cannot accurately describe the feeling I have when I wake up with one of my insights but I feel the truth of them deep down inside me. I have no doubt whatsoever that these dreams are my mind’s way of telling me things I need to know, showing me things that I need to feel.
I think the ultimate truth is that we ALL have this ability to connect to our soul, our essence, our inner child. I heard today words from a yoga teacher about finding your inner strength and truly loving yourself–There is nothing to hide and nothing to prove. — Just be your true self as much and as often as you can. Your superpower is being YOU!! Everyone has gifts to share with the world. We are all powerful. We are all STARS! When we allow our light to shine, the whole universe is a brighter place.