The fuzz is a place that some of us, maybe many of us, exist in. It’s where some of us hide out in denial. I call it ‘the fuzz’ because it can seem as warm and cozy as a fleece blanket– like on a cold fall day when we pull the covers over our head in the morning, not wanting to come out to face the brisk, morning. Seems kind of nice, but at some point we all have to face what we are most afraid of–death. This is the overriding stress that we all must deal with.
I lived in the fuzz for a long time. And for part of this time it was actually a lot of fun! I was so naive that I didn’t realize that the ‘fun’ had consequences. I certainly have no regrets. Everything I experienced was just what I needed in order for growth to happen. All humans have to come to face their denials and demons in their own time.
I think there are different ways of living in denial. There’s overindulgence, overwork and sensory overload…just to name a few. It all boils down to the same thing–resisting or avoiding reality. So why do we try to avoid reality; especially when, for some of us, reality is pretty good? Why do we try to escape our feelings, our minds and even our bodies?
For one thing, experiencing negative emotions usually doesn’t feel so great. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, scary or terrifying. Looking inside our minds to see the truth of who we are is not always so pleasant either. Who wants to explore their habitual reactions, destructive patterns, judgements, insecurities and fears? I doubt anyone is jumping up and down shouting, “I do!”
We all shut out reality sometimes; we do it to protect ourselves. In the moment, it seems easier to drink a few beer than to look at the stress of our day objectively and explore the reasons for our reactions. It seems simpler to zone out with some TV shows or video games than to face what we are worried about. It’s apparently more convenient to busy ourselves on our computers and i-phones than to really feel our fear or anger or frustration.
In our competitive, fast-paced society, slowing down for questioning, self-reflection or soul-searching is not valued. Some societies even promote the fuzz–people walking around in a blur of ‘must work hard!’, or in a haze of ‘must buy stuff!’, or in a cloud of ‘must amuse myself, must find pleasure!’
But what happens when we all avoid reality and live in our own small worlds of denial? We lose our connection to ourselves and to our POWER. And in losing our connections to our own core, we also end up disconnected from others. One thing I know to be true is that it is impossible to develop real connections with people when you are filled with anxiety, stress or fear. It’s only when we have peace in our soul that we can have deep connections with, and compassion for, other human beings. To find peace, one has to step out of the fuzz and take time just to be and to BREATHE!
Living in overdrive, in a constant state of extreme stress, of ‘fight or flight’, damages not only our connections, but our health. In today’s world, stress is so common. Of course, a certain amount of stress is good for us but in excess it can lead to serious health problems. And stress is not always caused by something obviously bad. Stress can be running to get to a yoga class after work, or listening to loud music at a club, or shopping to find that perfect outfit to wear to the party. Stress is invisible so unless you really pay attention to what your body is telling you, it can go undetected for years, accumulating and wrecking havoc with your internal systems.
It was when my body had become so stressed that it started malfunctioning that I was forced out of the fuzz. The warm, cozy blanket had been ripped away and was stunned by the bright light of reality. I couldn’t hide from the world or from myself anymore. I couldn’t ignore my true feelings anymore. I couldn’t deny my soul any longer.
At it’s very basic level, the fuzz hides the reality that no one wants to see–the reality that we are all going to die. All of our other fears and stresses come from this absolute truth. If we can confront this fear, all others will fall away and there will be nothings left to hide from.
I am not claiming to be enlightened or anywhere near it. I simply want to share my insights and any wisdom I have gained in my forty-two years here on earth. What I am saying is nothing new; you probably already know all of these truths deep within you and quite possibly you have been living more aware than me!
The point I do want to get across is this: Don’t wait until your body shuts down to wake up!! The time is NOW. Besides, you may be pleasantly surprised to find that reality is a pretty nice place!