You feel you have a calling to do something–maybe you are longing to help people in profound ways, maybe you feel a strong desire to express your creativity maybe you are deeply committed to your family and want to provide abundance for them, maybe you want to serve your community, maybe you aspire to be in a loving, mature, authentic, intimate partnership. Maybe all of the above!
You feel very passionate about want you want to bring to the world. Your dreams are BIG. GRAND. You sense some urgency. You feel some anxiety. You sense the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. You want to zoom to the part where you are living to your fullest potential, doing what you know you do best, doing what you know you are here to do, living in your full presence and power, having a life of abundance, fulfilment and joy!
And yet there is something holding you back. What is it? You are struggling to move forward but it feels so slow, frustrating and sometimes agonizing. You ask yourself. “Am I ready for it?” “Can I really reach this dream?” “Can I handle it?”
How do I know this? Because I am you. I have been wanting something more in my life for the last few years and it is coming together, gradually. I love where I’m living. I’m building new friendships. I’m enjoying my work as a nanny. I am finding my studies in Life Coaching so fulfilling! And yet, after the breakdown of my marriage, I felt like I was scrambling to put all the pieces back together. I wanted more work, I want financial stability, I wanted more satisfying relationships and most of all I wanted to serve this world with my unique talents and gifts as a healer, teacher, speaker and leader. And…I wanted it all NOW!!
Does this sound familiar to you? We are people who are not willing to settle for mediocracy. We intuit our own greatness. Yet we still have these nagging thoughts that something is lacking, that we could be doing more and hence, the anxiety. No need to hate the anxiety. I say, congratulations for having the fear!! It means you’re not willing to be complacent. It means you ARE dreaming big and expecting wonderful things for yourself. If you’re playing small and safe, you probably won’t have much fear because you are staying in your comfort zone. But be compassionate with yourself if you are playing it safe in some areas because you are always doing exactly what you need to do and growing at the exact right pace for you. We need to respect the fear and have tea with it but not invite it over for dinner if you know what I’m saying!
I have had a few realizations and AHA moments in the last week or so. I have worked through the anxiety and am cultivating more and more serenity.
- To quote Lisa Nichols, “You woke up ENOUGH!!” You are not here to prove how worthy you are. You are not here to prove anything. You don’t have to become anyone. And the freeing thing is, once you really feel this with every cell of your body, the pressure to do more and be more is gone! I know, you will say, “but I really should be more assertive, I should be doing my work as an artist, I shouldn’t still be in this job/relationship/situation.” But did you ever create change in yourself by beating yourself up!? The truth is you are perfect, whole and complete…always!! And knowing this, you can really begin to look at yourself in an honest and kind way and see where there is room to grow and evolve.
- To quote Tara Brach, “Isn’t what you are longing for already here?” Wow! This one really got me. I was like, “Yeah, my contribution to this world doesn’t exist in some imaginary future, it is here in this moment!” The other day, I went to the bank and chatted with the security guard at the door and he shared with me his passion for trains and snow. Yesterday, I was talking with one of the kids I take care of. I simply said, What’s going on in your world? And that opened the conversation for her to speak of the writing contest she was in. Those were simple, beautiful moments. I was being a Life Coach right there! I didn’t have to wait until I had built up a thriving business. The opportunities to connect and contribute are everywhere! Whatever you think you’re missing out on
- Sylvia Boorstein said, “There really isn’t some way to get everything right and keep it that way.” As you read in my last post, I realized that it was time to take it easy. Expecting my life to suddenly all be “perfect” was totally unrealistic. I was jumping into this fantasy future and stressing about how I was going to make it all happen. It’s really pretty crazy! But we all do it. We plan, we worry, we strategize trying to get somewhere, trying to make things better, more comfortable, more satisfying. And yet, do we ever get to this place where we feel totally happy with everything? No. We are always wanting more. And this is not the problem. The problem is getting caught up and lost in this wanting. Notice the wanting and give it attention. Then think, talk, write about all you are grateful for right now!
- THIS IS IT. Life is happening Right NOW. Life doesn’t begin when you have organized your wardrobe or found that “perfect” job. It is here right in front of your nose. It’s the smell of jasmine in the pre-spring air. It’s the birds chirping. It’s a child telling showing you her dance routine. It’s laughing with a friend. When we really get this with every bone, tissue and fibre of our being, life becomes fresh and alive. We notice things we didn’t see before. We are not so busying trying to get to the next thing. We relax and look around. We respond creativity to our life.
- “It’s all changing all the time! Think of where you were 6 months ago or 6 years ago. It’s probably very different from where you are now. And 6 months from now, your life will be different again in some ways. Open up to possibility. This is just the way it is right now. Don’t panic. Keep focusing on what you want but stay grounded in the present. Trust that everything happens in perfect timing.
- Will the real ___please stand up? (fill your name in the blank) I heard/read this recently. I put up a bunch of pictures on my wall from when I was in my 30’s, pictures where I was smiling, happy, radiant, confident, powerful. A woman I thought I had lost for a while. I realized that I CAN be the person I want to be right NOW! It certainly hasn’t happened over night but I see that I have been growing into the woman I imagined myself to be. She didn’t go anywhere. I simply need to embody those qualities that I want to have. What does a confident, happy, relaxed person think like, act like, talk like? What does her inner voice tell her?
- Take action to create something positive in your life TODAY. This quote came from my “Courage to Change” today which so often seems to have the exact message I need to hear. I know so many time I have gotten lost in thinking of all the big things I want to do and have forgotten about the small simple steps that I need to do to get there. Creating a Life Coaching business seems like a gigantic task but now that I am following my intuition and simply taking the next step forward, it has become so much easier. This is a project that will be continuously developing. There will be a lot to learn along the way. I can see it as an fun adventure rather than a daunting task. Nothing is impossible when you break it down into bite-sized pieces.
- Say YES!!! OOh, this was a really juicy one for me. I realized how often I was shrinking and contracting away from my life. I would look at something I needed to do and put it off. I would stay in my bed until I felt calm enough to get up. I would be telling myself in subtle ways that I couldn’t really handle life on my own. It was showing up in my body language and how I was speaking. But something changed when I said out loud, FEAR, I’m not afraid of you! I look forward to seeing you again!!! I said YES!! And I started to say YES in other ways too. I started to talk with my ex differently. I started to get those little things done. I started to wash my dishes right away. I started thinking about who my ideal client is. Instead of buying into that background noise of, “Oh no, this is too much for me to handle!” I can start to tell myself a new story. I can replace that timid voice with a voice that is confident and powerful and ready for anything!! “Yeah, I got this! I am looking forward to today! Something amazing is just around the corner!” Say YES to whatever is in your life. If something annoying happening or something seems difficult, say YES!!(either in your head or out loud), and see a noticeable difference in how you feel about the situation.
- SERENITY, WELL BEING AND JOY IS MY NATURAL STATE. Know this. Repeat it often to yourself. Even if you are suffering, angry, scared or sad, remember that there is an end to suffering. We can find our way back to a state of peace and ease. It will take effort and probably some time but you can get there. If you’re feeling anxiety, tell yourself, “Even though I am experiencing fear right now, I love and accept myself fully and completely.” No need to compound your suffering by hating whatever difficult emotion is arising. Love wherever you are at this moment. Peace is possible.